Day four water fast "Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!"

Its the evening of day four and im feeling slightly weak.My mind is much calmer today and my teeth appear to be healing, they are whiter and stronger which im really happy about. I find fasting ok so long as im able to be still its when i go out food shopping with mum it can be slightly difficult. I come to realise depression is a part of life and instead of me running from it, i should accept how i feel and wait out the storm knowing God will be there when the storms over. Sadness, anger, jealousy and bitterness are all apart of this life but doesnt mean they need to 'produce fruits' its learning to accept my feelings and saying Ok God im feeling rubbish right now, but you know what I wont let it conquer me. Ive come to realise that eating food doesn't put in a better life situation it just covers the cracks. This applies to other things drugs , alchohol etc. Its all an illusion. The only truth is found In God. I pray that God keeps me motivated through this fast and I start to practice what I preach, i seem great at giving advice but learning to do it myself its a different thing entirely. Im like my own worst enenmy.
Today ive been reading a great book called a lineage of grace, by francis rivers. It really helps me to understand the bible more, more so Ruth and other old testiment characters. I also have realised counting the days left, the days fasted wont help me at all. Unless its day 21 then all the days might aswell be the same. This is a journey of self improvement not a counting game. I also am finding i talk mum less for example with mum in the car i was more than happy to sit in silance, not in a sulk far from it, i just love to sit quiet, normally im a person who needs to be doing stuff all the time. But now im just happy sat there just happy been alive. When i fast my desires seem to shrink and I dnt want much, just peace and quiet. Which has made me realise how little i actualy need to survive.

Day three water fast. "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

It is the evening of day three and im feeling physically great. My mind on the other hand seems to be going over my past and re-valuating my life. There's parts of me that I need to change. For example worrying.. i worry too much and more so about been 'attractive'. I went shopping with mum and she got her usually chocolate and i saw my reflection and my thought was 'get some sweets/chocolate' I didn't let it stick in my mind for long though, but it made me realise how I try and use food as a way out from facing up to my emotions. Emotions can be so difficult sometimes, sometimes I feel like i don't even know myself. Like im in a unknown body and I have no idea whats best for me. Which is when i know i should turn to God, when i feel so uncertain and ashamed of who I am and what I've done. Which is where i strengthen my faith in lord jesus. Only he is my way out I know that, but i have trouble believing it some days. I feel awful saying this but its like sometimes i wonder if im addicted to feeling depressed. Im so fearful of been generally happy incase  I lose it all. Im thinking the sadness in my mind is from all the self abuse over the years and now im water fasting i have to face up to my 'demons' .I know it wil make me a better person in the end. Just need to ride out the storm. As jesus would say " where is your faith?'

Day two water fast- sorry for my terriable spelling and im new to blogging :)

It is the evening of day two and im feeling relaxed. I do feel tired but its a nice tired and for i seem to be having an strange attraction to sitting on silence, Its really strange normally im usually listening to music or watching something, but at the moment i just find myself sitting there in complete silence feeling at peace. I have noticed water fasting becomes easier as i do it more, ive gone for feeling terriable off skipping one meal to going days without food and feeling great. When i eat i eat really well , there is no chance of been becoming underweight or anything, which is something i worry people may be concerned about.

Also im new to blogging so im sorry if ever appear rude, lol i dnt know what im doing on here just yet. And for my spelling! I really hope it does not annoy anyone, ive always struggled with my spelling since school, but I (hope) i make up for it with my artwork :)


I do become more emotional when i fast, which can be a good or bad thing, ie stress is alot harder to deal with, but simple things like listening to the rain ( which i did before) sound amazing. I am so greatful to God for giving us a tool to heal and draw ourselves closer to him. I do believe fasting is one of God's amazing medicines. 

Day One water fast

Its the evening of day one
Im feeling  good. Ive been reading my fasting book and have set up my desk and room so that the next 21 days i can really focus on water fasting. I have church tomorrow which always charges my batteries. I ve been thinking about why I crashed at day 11 and day 6 and I believe that my minds so clogged up with crap ie from smoking/drugs/sugars that when my body water fasts it starts to heal all the damage ive done to my brain and its going to feel bad, Im literally releasing all those toxins out of my mind. So im not going to be paraniod anymore about Satan attacking me etc, God loves me and protects me where ever I go and what ever I do. And this detox is my pententaly for all the crap and abuse ive done to this body. When  i think of things that way its not scary at all, infact it becomes rather exciting to know my body is healing its self. Of course all Glory goes to God for making such a wonderful machine. I hope now i can give it the love and respect it deserves. I understand satan will try and make the most out of my detoxing, maybe by tempting, but thats all he can do. And if i have the will to fast and the love of God with me then I will be okay.I will pray that God keeps me motivated throughout the next 21 days and when the depression hits again gives me the strength and the wil to keep on going. Feelins are so unreliable, here one minute then gone the next, only the love of God is what truly remains at the end of the day.
physical symtoms:
abit tired thirsty felt down before and went and had a lie down, then thats when the thought came into my head, its just my brain healing it self and nothing to worry about. John14:27 xx

Day One water fast

Starting my 21 day water fast today. Found the cheapest place for spring water and it tastes goood.
Im fasting for weightloss,detox,a healthier body and mind,to get to know God and myself more, to become stronger and wiser. I did a 5 day water fast couple of days ago and ive done a 11 day water fast last july, they both were ment to go on much longer than however.. when I hit depression when i fast i cave in. So throughout i am going to make sure to stay happy and calm. And find ways to overcome my depression by turning to God instead of food. When my mind comes up with excuses to stop the fast im going to have to grim and bare. I need to do this now, ive got 3 weeks off work, im sat at home, i dnt have anything to worry about and if i do then  i must learn to turn to God. I need to stop turning to food when im depressed. Other things i can do it write on here, read, play music, spend time with family.
There only feelings they will pass.
Today ive been sorting my room and setting my desk up to fast , im really trying to prepare myself. previous to this i eat vegeterian anyway, but after the fast i want to styep it up agear and go vegan. I am reading a book by Dr fuhram which is excellent apart from the cave man bit. Tis is 3 weeks now just to rest and chill out, spend time with God and really let my body heal. I want a new start now and i want more of a life , i dnt want anymore to feel so ashamed of my body and let the depressio rule over me anymore. Its time I broke free and really go for it. Lifes too short to be miserable!